Restless Night

Tonight is a restless night.  Tonight, I should be asleep because I have to be awake and ready to go to the hospital in about five hours.  Tonight I cannot sleep because I have to take my daughter to the hospital for surgery.

I alone am taking her tomorrow.  My son has had two surgeries and they were too much for my wife to handle.  On the second surgery, the nurses asked my wife to leave because of her emotional state.  Since I am the father, the husband, I am the emotional rock.  The one they turn to in difficult times to be the leader.  I find that ironic because during normal times, I am rightly branded as the scatter brained dramatist.

I do not know why I am sharing this, as I am extremely introverted unless a topic that I am extremely familiar with is at hand.  Or if I've had a beer or two, and then one cannot shut me up.  

I guess I decided to share these thoughts in this forum is because cards calm my mind.  One difficult night several months ago, I sat in bed sorting a 3,200 count box.  Was it because that box of Score desperately needed attention?  Not likely.  It was because it felt like the puzzle pieces were coming together.

As I sorted that box, I could feel the heat emanating from my wife.  With every shuffle, I felt her skin bristle.  She finally sighed, looked at me and said "Why must you sort those cards?  The sound makes my skin crawl."  I blankly looked at her and replied, "Because it gives me solace.  It calms me."

For some unknown reason, baseball cards calm my mind.  I cannot describe it, but I am sure someone reading this knows what I mean.  Cards live an odd juxtaposition in my life.  My wife detests them in seemingly every cell of her being, but they soothe me.  It is a fine line of my existence having a hobby that irritates the one I love.  I've been told before to always be who you are, and not emulate that which you are not.  That being said, it is hard to pursue that which those you love do not understand.

I digress...While I type this, I am taking a break from sorting my Donruss boxes.  Pulling singles and seeing how many cards I need to complete 88, 89 and 90 Donruss.  Do I truly need to complete those sets?  Not likely, but it quells my thoughts of my daughter, and allows me to function as the emotional rock I am supposed to be.