Tuesday, February 19, 2013

We're Going on a Snipe Hunt

My Father-in-Law is a hunter.  He’s been hunting see he was knee high to a grasshopper.  I consider him an ideal outdoorsman, who has graciously been passing his knowledge on to me and my son.  He’s harvested the gamut of wild game from deer to turkey to quail to crappie, etc., and is right good with locating sign. 

Sign to us City Boys is evidence of animal activity.  In simpler terms, it’s usually the animal’s footprint as depicted in the chart above.  And while I do believe my Father-in-Law could locate any animal print known to man, I am 100% certain he could never track the elusive Topps Short Print.

These Short Prints are mythical creatures, akin to a Yeti, or a Sasquatch if you prefer.  More mysterious than a Chupacabra, more obscure than the wily Jackalope.  Legend has it that the Topps Short Print is the ultimate Snipe Hunt, a Fool’s Errand.

Around these parts, the original Snipe Hunt consisted of experienced outdoorsmen convincing their green apprentices to chase a mythical creature through the woods, bellowing an idiotic call, while trying to catch the beast in a sack.  An impractical task with those methods, made impossible by the fact that the creature does not even exist.

Now, while there have been confirmed sightings of the Topps Short Print, this beast remains the Ultimate Snipe Hunt, for the Short Print mocks your every move.  It lures you with the promise of its capture, but it will cost.  Oh, it will cost you

And when you think your set is complete, trust me, it is not.  For somewhere, in the high numbers, lurks a Short Print.  It may be just one out of reach, but often, you need 20, (sometimes 50!), to complete your set!  It enrages you.  You hear the derisive laughter.  You hear your money jingling in Topps pocket. 

And where are you left?

That’s right, running through the woods making foolish noises, and left holding an empty bag.      

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